Master and I

Hello everyone, sorry for the disappearance. Things have been pretty hectic around here with mine and Masters schedules. We are both taking classes, Master works full time at night, and I am working part time. I am glad to be able to say I am finally working though, but sometimes I really hate how our schedules are. There has been a couple days where I only get to see/spend time with Master for about 15 minutes. That upsets me, but I dont work a lot of hours, so thats good for that reason lol.

But anyways to say whats been going on the past few months, Master and I have decided to try for a baby. I was on birth control pills for 5 years, and got off of them in June 2009. We werent too careful during that time, not really trying, not really preventing... just hoping it might happen. Well, nothing ever did happen, so last month (May), we decided to really try. This is our second month trying, and I hope this is it. Im anxious about it. We really want to have a little one. I want to carry Master's child. I love him so much, and he wants one just as bad. We will be a family, instead of just a married couple. lol.

I wish he and I had more "us time", but with the time we do have, I make sure I do things for him, like I always make sure the house is clean with all the domestic duties taken care of, make him dinner when I'm home, make and bring him his coffee in the morning or night, I even go visit him on his lunch break at 11pm, bringing him lunch if I dont work or go to school the next day. I know he appreciates it, but I hope he knows I am doing this as his submissive too, to please him.

Love for my Master

I cant believe its been so long since i have posted! Kind of pisses me off... more so that I am contributing to the others who no longer are posting. It just sucks. I miss coming on here and reading everyones blogs. It kind of puts me in the right state of mind, and when I write, it helps improve my attitude towards my Master and myself. So I apologize to those who do read my blog. I did not want to neglect it, just as I NEVER want DD to fade into the background. I love it too much! lol.
I was listening to Korn, and well, it reminded me of how much I want my Master to take advantage of me. Then it reminded me that I need to get on here and write. Im just mad at myself that I didnt even get to write on Valentines Day and wish everyone a good time. Oh well, I am really going to try and make an effort to update at least once a week. Nothing interesting really happened this week. Master has been working a lot. I did get a spanking towards the end of February, I was being bratty, and it hurt! But secretly, I really love it. It puts me in my place and proves to me the control my Master has over me. I wish he would do it more often. Like maintenance spankings. I dont know, it just really evens things out for me. I know we have been crazy busy, but I am ready for him to be extra strict with me about his rules. I need that control. I am going to talk to him tonight when he gets home. I will keep you posted if he sets out new rules, or whatever he decides. I love him so much! He is so loving and always wants the best for us. I love the life we have together, and DD makes it oh so much better!

UPDATE! (sorry no clever title name lol)

I hate neglecting my blog, as well as neglecting to read others. I truly hate it. I have just been so busy trying to keep up with school and my social life, that I seem to have no "extra time" to write in my blog. Right now I am taking a break from doing my homework to write. I just cannot stand to be stuck on one thing at a time. I'm always jumping from thing to thing, even with housework, I will be doing laundry, then get a thought to do something, do it, then forget what I was doing until later.... Yeah, maybe a slight form of ADD? Who knows... Haven't gotten that checked out at all. I don't really care unless I get something that keeps me on task. But who cares. This blog is about DD!

So anyways, Master is extremely busy also! He tells me maybe its best if I just dont look for a job. I would prefer to have a part time one at least. I miss having spending money. Master is extremely strict with money. I have no freedom with it whatsoever, which I hate. What girl doesnt like to go shopping every once in a while? But he is sweet, he gives me some cash when he gets bonuses and things like that. I really appreciate that he does those things for me.

Also, I havent been bad enough to get a hard spanking. So I guess that is good, but I can tell when I get on his nerves. I just wish he would put me in my place right then and there when that happens. I love when hes dominant like that. He does when we are at home, and will place his hand on the front of my neck to show me his dominance, and it really turns me on! He does many things that turn me on. lol

I am still trying to be his perfect submissive, but like I said before, we have been a little more lax on the subject of that. I'm hoping things get more strict soon. I cant be my best if he doesn't correct me..... That reminds me of that scene in The Shining when the man with the twins is talking about correcting his wife and children lol. Funny how those little things stand out to me.

Finally a New Year

Once again it has been a while since I have posted. Nothing new and exciting was going on, and no real kink was going on in the bedroom. lol. So nothing really interesting to discuss this past month, just living life and seeing where it takes us and making love any chance we get. Life has been busy lately and durring the past month ive given him little tests to see if hes all there, if hes still my Master...And of course he is! Always will be. I havent gotten a spanking in it seems like forever, and it turns Master on so much, I know he wants to paddle my lil ass. But he knows he spanks me when Im bad, and knows I shouldnt get his cock if I'm bad, but I told him if it turns him on that much, we can have just a little play session of spanking, I dont mind; I kind of like it, except when I'm being paddled for punishment. When he spanks me for his pleasure, its loving, he caresses my ass each time before he lifts his hand to smack, and at each raise of his hand I anticipate feeling that sting.

Yes, December was an odd month, but January seems to be starting off good, and we are getting back to ourselves as Master and submissive. I of course, am still thinking some of his decisions are not fair, but I still obey him because he in fact does know what is best for me. Things in our little world are good, but as for our surroundings, not so great. Things with his family have been a bit crazy lately, we can only hope things will work themselves out and I pray we dont get dragged into things that are not our business - which is a good reason why we live an hour away from them. But other than that things are looking good, and so is the job market, its getting better. I think I may be able to find work soon to help Master with bills. I'm happy I entered into another new year with the man I love.

Seeing Master's POV

I haven't been updating as much as I would like to lately, but I cant change the time that has passed, so here is an installment in the best timing I could do.

Being truly dominant has become so natural for Master. He is expressing himself more dominantly from the time we first started exploring DD. He has always been dominant, as I have stated before. A leader, competitive, and strong. Very intelligent and will debate about anything he feels strongly about, and doesn't stop until, in his mind, he wins. I love that about him. I love that he speaks his mind without fear of what someone will think about him. He stands his ground. Which goes into having to do with me. I said its become more natural for him to be Master, which helps me to be more submissive. But sometimes I hate when he is domineering, yet at the same time, he is putting me in my place, reminding me that he is the HOH. I am the submissive wife. What he says goes. Sometimes I hate that though. Like last week some friends wanted to hang out together, and he was already irritated. So as we were on our way, he got even more irritated at who knows what, flipped the car around and said "We are going home!" I thought this was unfair, and had my pouty face on, but Master does not like that. I told him its stupid how he was acting, and he told me that "Its my money and I will spend it how I want". So that was the end of that, and home we went. In my eyes unfair, yet, what he says goes. Another thing that happened was last night. He was at work, and he usually calls me on his first break. I didnt hear anything from him, at all, and I kept calling. I was so worried that something might have happened. I didnt hear from him till six hours later, at his lunch break. He said he couldnt take his first break because he was training some new people. I was so upset, I didnt care what the hell he was doing, he should have taken a break. I told him I was worried something happened, but Master did not like my attitude and told me if I didnt stop he was not going to talk to me until his last break when I would be in a "better" mood. So I didn't stop, and he hung up on me. I think that was mean and harsh considering I was worried. But now, a day later, I see his point. He is the Master and I need to speak to him with the most respect.

So thats what has been going on lately, I will try to update more often. Master likes to read my posts also. :)

Submitting to Him

I have come to realize that for me to be fully submissive to my husband, I need to follow him in everything. This brings me to the topic of getting a roommate. I am becoming more open to the idea, and I realize, Master is doing this for my benefit. The whole time his reasoning had to do with me. He loves me at home, and would love for my focus to strictly be on school. Im still not ready to accept a roommate at this time, and I am using Master's deadline to my advantage, but when the time comes, I will submit to his decision. He knows this, and Im sure he knew the whole time before he even broached the subject with me because he has been discussing this could be situation with the potential roomie. But in the end I realize I do not have a choice because I agreed to be his submissive.

He told me I have been a good girl lately. I feel I havent been the best to my abilities, but if Master says Im a good girl, thats what I am. I miss him telling me this. I feel most submissive to him when he says things like this to me. I feel loved and the center of his attention and desires. This is why a vanilla relationship will never work for me now. It will never be enough, vanilla relationships are so passive, and I think he feels the same. We need that extra attention to each other. Not to mention sex is so much more amazing with a D/s dynamic, although we sort of had one before reading about DD. I know this is a turn on for both of us, but I think if a vanilla couple were to try it, they might end up liking it too. Our relationship is smooth when we give it our all in our roles. I notice when we slack on being Dominant and submissive, our relationship gets rocky. I may not be the perfect submissive, but at least I can try.

A Little Update

I have not written in a while so now would be a good time I guess. Lately I feel I have been so "naggy". I hate it, and it just pushes Master away. We both haven't talked to each other in the sweetest voices lately either, and it makes me sad. Especially because we just celebrated our first year of marriage. I know we both have a lot on our shoulders right now, but I think he should try a little harder to be patient with me. He just always seems so irritated with me. Our first year of marriage just seems it was so much harder than it should have been, and we have dealt with so much crap. No newlywed should be so stressed. Its hard to focus on each others happiness when things seem to bare down on you. I think also what has him so irritable is that he is working more and different hours at work and still trying to juggle school. Its really stressful on him, especially since he is the breadwinner and has to worry about all of the bills by himself. He wants to get a roommate if I don't find stable work by February. I really don't want this, and his main reason for this is so I can just stay home while i am in school. Honestly Id rather go get the stupidest job and work instead of having a roommate. If im the homemaker, how am I suppose to keep things "just-so" if we have someone using our stuff and making their own messes all the time. We are married, and really do not need some other person staying here. Even if its a short while. I see the good points, but it also means we will have to keep DD / D/s on the DL, unless we be completely open and scare them away lol.