My fiance and I have been discussing something recently and it has had me thinking an awful lot. He recently told me that he is considering joining the Navy after we are married. Not right after, but maybe three or four months down the line. I think it would be great in so many ways, but I am conflicted. Because you see, I'm kind of selfish. I want all the time in the world with him, and if hes in the Navy, there will be times when he will be shipped out to sea for at least a good six months. I have no idea in the world what I would do with all of that free time by myself because we will not have any children, and I do not plan on getting pregnant before he leaves because I want him there through the pregnancy, and when I give birth. I don't want any chance that he could be away when the time comes that I would be due. It would be horrible for me to not have him there in those important days of our lives. But then I think about all of the good things about him joining. We would have our housing paid for, I would be able to quit my stupid dead-end job that I hate so much, and we would have all of the great benefits that they offer. Not to mention he will be able to earn a degree. I have discussed all of things with him already. I have also looked up things on the web about Navy wives and read their blogs. I'm not too worried about anything happening to him because it seems that they just mostly go out to sea. But I am all about supporting him, and I know the reason he wants to do this is to support me and our someday family. I'm just a little worried about it because I don't really know what to expect, so I thought I would just write my thoughts down. Because I think about how lonely it will be if we get sent to another state. I will have no other family near by. I'm sure I would find something to do if we moved. Maybe a part time job, or who knows? Maybe I will have other wives to talk to when hes away. Its going to be hard having to deal without my HOH when hes away. I love his company and I love obeying him.
Friday, September 26, 2008
Been Thinking
Posted by Sweet Submissive at 12:10 PM
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4 comments:
Dear Sweet Submissive,
First, my prayers are with you, as this is a very hard situation to deal with, and if he does decide to enlist, it will be some tough times ahead.
I know how horrible it is to think that he might be away from you. My advice, tell him how you feel. Let him know what's on your mind, but in the same time, let him know that you are willing to deal with your feelings and be strong to support him and his dreams.
Part of being submissive, is following his decisions and lovingly following him to hell and back. This may just be one of those times when you have to suck it up and say "he's worth the pain".
I know it's easier said than done sweetie, and I pray that he changes his mind for you. Be sure that me and River are always here, and if you ever feel alone, just message one of us, and we'll talk.
Much love and blessings in your journey,
LS
Sweet Submissive,
I can identify with this a lot. Nick wanted to join the armed forces soon after we were married, and I forbade it (I was most definitely in charge at that point). It didn't come up again until a year ago. This was the first major decision he had made that I was against, but supported fully anyway. We talked a lot about all the things that could/would happen, how much we would miss him (We have 3 little ones!). And the realities of daiy military life. Unfortunately, he had kidney stones rwice in one year, and they would not let him in until he had been stone-free for a year. By that time, he had realized that we would be making $15,000 per year less than we do now (even with all the perks), which we can't afford. So he has abandoned the idea for good. I am overjoyed, but I would have stuck by him even if he had gone in. What made me realize that I needed to let go and make this *just his* decision, was the possibility of resentment later in life. I don't want to be a dream-killer. What if I had said, "No, don't do it. I can't handle it.", and I begged until he relented? Would he then, in ten years, resent me for that? Also, I know that if I had a career opportunity that was good for us, he would follow me anywhere. Whatever your man decides, let him know how you feel, but also let him know that you are there for him no matter what. I think it would be a hard decision for a husband to make, to leave his wife and home for a while to better their lives. I wish you peace and love in this life-changing time. As LS said, we are here for you!
Blessings,
River
Thank you Ladies! You two are so supportive, and I am so greatful to have stumbled upon your pages. I will always remember to be supportive of him. We have talked about my worries openley, and I have told him that I think it is his calling.
But when i wrote this out, it kind of relieved some stress, because I was stressing! lol. And both of your comments have assured me. So thank you two for that. I will update on this subject when the time comes, but for now I think I will just focus on being submissive to him. I know that when and if the time comes for us to take this big leap in our lives, I will be ready for it.
Sweet Submissive
Tell them to join the air force I was in for 10 plus years and only went away for a few weeks at a time not counting desert storm. It's a better life, for both!
I will be praying for the both the upcoming marriage and the decisions that you both will have to make.
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