Master's Lectures

I had wrote a post of me ranting about Master lecturing me. It seems he ALWAYS is. But I read Kajira's post, and it showed me that he is lecturing me so much to get it into my head, for me to be a better submissive to him. I did not think of it this way. No, I thought he was just being flat out mean to me. But for me to publish that last post would be mean to him. He does his best to make sure things are paid for and that I have things I need. He doesn't have to do this. And he tells me this. He tells me he could just kick me out on the street. And this is what really makes me upset, but you know something, its true. It hurts to hear that from him, but he is right, and I realize he tells me this to show me how much he loves me. He loves me so much that he would never do that, even though he has the complete power and control to do so. In some ways that scares me. That he has that much power over me. But I love that he does have this control. It is the control and leadership I want and need from him. He said this to me again today, and it was in a very mean and hurtful way. It really took a hit to my heart. He said this because he was lecturing me, and I got pissed at him. I hate that I get mad about it, but in the end, whatever it may be that he is lecturing me about, I know he is right. I just need to learn to take a different approach to this. Like sit there, be quiet and take in everything hes saying as if it were the word of God. He gets upset with me when I don't listen, and it is disrespectful. I'm trying to improve this and I want to make him happy. He leads, and I follow. I just have to keep that in mind when a lecture starts.