Being Bad

So I have been bad the last 2 days... And I feel really down about it. Me and my HOH had a great time yesterday, but my smart mouth was making the good day turn to a bad day. He got VERY angry with me and threatened me with the belt. I pleaded with him not to do this, and that the rest of the night I will be on my best behavior, so I did just that. And I feel really aweful about it because we were out in public, and I was acting up. He did not spank me because I was such a good girl the rest of the night. I was happy that he was happy with me, but I am sad by how I acted out in public. Then today I got spanked, and it hurt! He told me, one more time, I act up like this, I will be getting the belt. Today I broke a rule which was telling him "no" and "i dont want to", so I deserved it for being bratty with him. I really dont want to get spanked with the belt. I really need to learn to just listen and obey him, but it is so hard to do this right now. I know it will get easier with time. We both want this. We love it. When I think about acting out, I just need to stop and realize that I love him, and this is why we have decided to lead a DD life. But he is so sweet to me. Like today, I was feeling really crappy about my body, because I hate how it is right now, and he was there for me, telling me how much he loves me, and my body. How sexy I am. One of our rules is that I need to get to 110, and maintane that weight. I just feel that it will be hard to since I am 156.5 right now. But he is in charge of my diet, and exercises. So he thinks that by 5 months I should be there. I'm hoping sooner. I love him so much, and I love how he cares about me so much.