Not My Best Behavior

So I was very sick last weekend with the flu and the grogginess that came with it lasted all the way into Wednesday! Horrible. So during this time of being sick, I forgot my submissive ways, and when I started feeling better I let my mouth do what it does best. Talk. But with the attitude that Master hates. I feel bad. Master felt like I didn't respect him, and he is so wrong! I respect him the most out of everyone I know! I told him this. And he does forgive, but as many of you know, Masters aren't easy to forget your wrong doings, and he promised me a spanking with that paddle as soon as it gets here in the mail. I'm dreading it. I know it will hurt worse than his hand. And speaking of spankings, the day I got the flu, I got a good spanking before we left for our outings. I don't remember what i said, it was most likely my attitude as it always is. My tone. And when Master pulled my panties down he noticed a tiny little bruise on my butt cheek, we think it was from the spanking the week before that when he swatted me REAL hard. So he spanked me on my left cheek, because the right one had a bruise. And it hurt! He spanked me multiple times making me say that I will behave and that he is my Master. You would think I would learn to bite my tongue!!!! Well, he knows for sure that once I get a "taste" of that paddle that I will never want it again, and that it should help me to remember to think before I open that sweet little mouth of mine.

Valentines Day

Hi Everyone! Sorry I haven't really been around too much lately, I guess I was pretty busy with trying to get this unemployment stuff straightened out, and well, when Master is home, I like to spend time with him, rather than be on the computer. I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels this way. I hope everyone had a wonderful Valentines Day. I know I did. My husband is so sweet. We did happen to have an unfortunate event happen though. My husband had ordered me a package from pro flowers. It was about $100 dollars, and he had paid extra shipping costs for it to be delivered on Saturday, for Valentines Day. Well it was 2pm and it still had not arrived. So Master went on the computer to track it, and UPS said that an unforeseen event had happened and it could not be delivered. He was very pissed off. He called UPS, and pro flowers to see if there was any way he could pick it up for me. Nope. No way. The whole thing is ridiculous, but he ended up getting the $30 dollar fee for the shipping to be taken off. Why should we pay for the expediated shipping, when we aren't even getting it on time? So I got kind of upset about it, you know, he spent so much money for this to be delivered to me on time, and to find out, its sitting in a truck, I am really hoping the flowers are in good condition. It is supposed to arrive today. I feel like yelling at UPS when they get here, but I must be lady like. I will just accept them with a smile. But the rest of the day was great. We got a hotel room, we tried to have dinner at olive garden, but OH MY GOODNESS was the line long. We had tried to reserve dinner, but um, apparently, they weren't doing reservations for that night. Pretty stupid. So we ended up going to a buffet at one of the nicer casinos. It cost $60 dollars! Well, he said thats what he had planned on spending, maybe more. But it was all good. It was a great dinner. When we got out of the restaurant, the line was stretching into the casino! I couldn't believe it! Good thing we went to dinner a little early (around 5 - 5:30). So then after that we went to a movie, "Hes just not that into you" I thought it was very cute! A little long for just a romantic movie it was like 2 hours, but I liked it, and so did he. Oh and I forgot to mention, he bought me a little bear and we went to See's candies to get a box of chocolate since my package wasn't there. Very sweet of him!

So while we were in our hotel room, we were talking, and he decided that when we got home he would write out a set of rules for me. One for at home, and one for when we are out in public. He has finished the one for at home, since this will be the one used immediately. I'm thinking about posting what he wrote, but I don't know. Its personal to me. So instead, I will just kind of summarize it. Basically it states, he is in control, everything needs to be approved by him, I always need to be available and ready for him, the house clean with dinner ready for him when he gets home, and one rule states that I MUST work out everyday, with no exceptions. So I mean, pretty basic DD rules from the HOH. I cant wait to see what he writes for us when we are out in public.

And to add the cherry on top, I was testing him last night, bad bad me. I was trying to get a rise out of him. I don't know why I did this. I had been so good, for I would say a pretty good long time. I guess maybe, secretly I was craving a maintenance spanking. He doesn't really believe in spanking me if I have been good. So for me asking him to spank me just to keep me in line, is out of the question. I have asked before, and he says If I have been good, why spank? Well sometimes I do need it, or I do get snippy. So anyways, I was just kind of testing him, I mean it was innocent, but he got pretty mad and as we were standing there, he turned me around and whipped my ass right there, really really hard with one swat. So it made me kind of mad, you know, no warning, but it was HIS rules we were playing by. So in that anger i turned and kind of hit him back. Well, that was a HUGE mistake. And I feel bad that I did that. I was the one who wanted this DD relationship, so I needed to accept his punishments, whether they be formal or informal, like that one. So he yelled and told me to get in the room, and he spanked me HARD. I still had my sweats on, but they were thin, and it hurt! Thank God I wasn't wearing a nighty, which I usually wear. But as I said, I feel horrible for that, he told me not to because I got punished, but I know I will never do this again. Well i better end this here, because this looks pretty long lol.

The Worst Spanking

Today I had my worst spanking so far. And this morning. At 3:30 am!!!! It still hurts! So you may be thinking, what did I do? Well, he has a little side job on certain mornings at a gym, and this morning, I ended up getting into an argument with him. About tuna sandwiches! So stupid. I know. Well, I was trying my hardest to get lots of sleep because I had gone to bed late last night because I was trying to get a load of laundry done. So naturally, when he wakes up, I end up waking up. Even though he is quiet and is very caring not to make any distractions for me. I guess its just his presence. Well anyways, after he had been up for an hour, he comes into the room telling me I need to make him tuna for his lunch today. So mind you, I am still trying my hardest to sleep. I get all snappy with him saying "you were up for an hour already, why couldn't you have just made it?!" And instead of him stopping this right then in there, his weaker side starts to argue with me about it, and we get into this big huge debate at three something in the morning. So then I start to feel kind of bad, and I text him telling him I don't want to fight with him and he needs to be my HOH. So then he comes into the room, and tells me to pull down my panties. I hesitate because, I really didn't want to be spanked at 3:30 in the morning. So he tells me again more firmly, so with a bit more hesitation, I turn over, and he pulls them down, and starts spanking me so hard! The hardest he has ever spanked me, I was crying out in pain! I was crying so hard that my nose was getting snotty. I was mad that he spanked me that hard. He said he loved me when he was done, and that he doesn't feel bad for spanking me that hard because I questioned him and disobeyed him. But I am very happy and glad now that he did this. I needed it. He was so angry with me. I still feel bad I acted this way, and I told him this tonight, but he said its OK because I got punished for it earlier. God, I wish I could be perfect and hold my tongue! I want our home to be peaceful, a place for him to relax and feel good. Not to get in arguments with me. I know with time I will improve my habits.

Being Bad

So I have been bad the last 2 days... And I feel really down about it. Me and my HOH had a great time yesterday, but my smart mouth was making the good day turn to a bad day. He got VERY angry with me and threatened me with the belt. I pleaded with him not to do this, and that the rest of the night I will be on my best behavior, so I did just that. And I feel really aweful about it because we were out in public, and I was acting up. He did not spank me because I was such a good girl the rest of the night. I was happy that he was happy with me, but I am sad by how I acted out in public. Then today I got spanked, and it hurt! He told me, one more time, I act up like this, I will be getting the belt. Today I broke a rule which was telling him "no" and "i dont want to", so I deserved it for being bratty with him. I really dont want to get spanked with the belt. I really need to learn to just listen and obey him, but it is so hard to do this right now. I know it will get easier with time. We both want this. We love it. When I think about acting out, I just need to stop and realize that I love him, and this is why we have decided to lead a DD life. But he is so sweet to me. Like today, I was feeling really crappy about my body, because I hate how it is right now, and he was there for me, telling me how much he loves me, and my body. How sexy I am. One of our rules is that I need to get to 110, and maintane that weight. I just feel that it will be hard to since I am 156.5 right now. But he is in charge of my diet, and exercises. So he thinks that by 5 months I should be there. I'm hoping sooner. I love him so much, and I love how he cares about me so much.