Bad Submissive

So I was very bad yesterday, I was acting up questioning everything Master told me to do, just not being a good submissive all around. So Finally Master had it, and told me to go get on the bed (that's where he spanks me). So at first, I started acting up, pleading with him that I didn't do anything. And well, you don't do that with J. He expects me to obey and go in the room. But no, I still kept on, and what does that mean in his book? That I will get spanked even harder. I just kept making it worse for my self. So stupid. So finally he got me to get up and walk down the hallway, but not without him having to guide me there, because I was being hesitant. I knew what was in store.
So I got on the bed, and still pleaded because although I had been acting up, I didn't think I was that bad to get the paddle, but Master said I was just making it worse, and that as his submissive I needed to except his punishment. I was wearing very thin pajama pants, and Master said he would go easy and let me keep my pants on, but that did not help at all! He took the paddle, and swatted me so hard on my right cheek, so hard I yelled out in pain. And then he swatted me on the left, and again, so much pain, and it brought tears! It left two little pink marks. That was the hardest he had ever spanked me with the paddle, and I do not anticipate it again. I was so upset after he spanked me, I told him to leave me alone afterwords. Master was proving to me that he is serious about this, and wont let those little things slide.

Bad Attitude and Punishment

Tuesday night and Wednesday morning I had a bad attitude (apparently) I say this because most of the time when I give off that nasty tone, i don't really realise it, and I get defensive when Master tells me so. Tuesday night I got spanked many times with his hand (jeans on) and then with the paddle (jeans on). It hurt very bad, and I felt sore and sorry for how I acted. Then Wednesday morning I wasn't being very submissive and was questioning J. He told me this, and I got defensive, because he said I was having an attitude again, and he wanted me to be something, and I wasn't being it (submissive) so this hurt my feelings. We ended up getting into a big fight and he yelled at me for disrespecting him, and swatted me on the ass. I wish our fight had never happened. I agreed to be submissive to him. Later that day we ended up having makeup sex after a talk about me being his submissive and that this fight probably made us stronger as a D/s couple. Sometimes it is just so hard for me to watch my attitude, I don't realise the tone I use until Master gets mad. The good thing is, we are back on track and I am thinking much more before I speak. I think he is molding me into a polite woman, and I am molding him into a strong respectable man. I love him, and am happy we chose this life-style.

The Worst Spanking

Today I had my worst spanking so far. And this morning. At 3:30 am!!!! It still hurts! So you may be thinking, what did I do? Well, he has a little side job on certain mornings at a gym, and this morning, I ended up getting into an argument with him. About tuna sandwiches! So stupid. I know. Well, I was trying my hardest to get lots of sleep because I had gone to bed late last night because I was trying to get a load of laundry done. So naturally, when he wakes up, I end up waking up. Even though he is quiet and is very caring not to make any distractions for me. I guess its just his presence. Well anyways, after he had been up for an hour, he comes into the room telling me I need to make him tuna for his lunch today. So mind you, I am still trying my hardest to sleep. I get all snappy with him saying "you were up for an hour already, why couldn't you have just made it?!" And instead of him stopping this right then in there, his weaker side starts to argue with me about it, and we get into this big huge debate at three something in the morning. So then I start to feel kind of bad, and I text him telling him I don't want to fight with him and he needs to be my HOH. So then he comes into the room, and tells me to pull down my panties. I hesitate because, I really didn't want to be spanked at 3:30 in the morning. So he tells me again more firmly, so with a bit more hesitation, I turn over, and he pulls them down, and starts spanking me so hard! The hardest he has ever spanked me, I was crying out in pain! I was crying so hard that my nose was getting snotty. I was mad that he spanked me that hard. He said he loved me when he was done, and that he doesn't feel bad for spanking me that hard because I questioned him and disobeyed him. But I am very happy and glad now that he did this. I needed it. He was so angry with me. I still feel bad I acted this way, and I told him this tonight, but he said its OK because I got punished for it earlier. God, I wish I could be perfect and hold my tongue! I want our home to be peaceful, a place for him to relax and feel good. Not to get in arguments with me. I know with time I will improve my habits.