Master wants a Baby

I am so happy with Master right now. He is so sweet, and he wants us to try for a baby so bad now. Its so cute. There are some reasons why we need to wait a few months before we really start trying, but I am at least getting off the pill. Saturday will be my last pill. So until we start trying, I guess master will wear condoms, even though he hates it lol. I was thinking of buying those cyclebeads, but I don't know yet. I just love that Master wants a baby so badly. I cant wait to carry his child. I think a baby will just add to our love for each other.

No Sex in a Week!

So I am not too happy with that part-time job I got. I don't have hardly any time with Master, and he seems to agree that I should quit. That's not the only thing wrong with it though, they told me I would work a certain shift, and guess what? I'm not working that shift, and so I have no time to be looking for a full time job, and that is why I am getting unemployment, to look for a FULL TIME job. And not only that, today was the first time me and Master got a chance to have sex in a week! And that is because of our schedules. Its awful not having that intimacy between us. Almost makes us feel like roomies or something, just saying hi and bye with I love yous. So anyways, Master told me to just go in there and quit, and not worry about anything. I was worried if it would mess up something with me getting my benefits, but with all the cons, I think I'm okay. And if not, I always can go back to my old job in August. Unemployment is soooo confusing! Master hates that I even have to worry about that. But other than that, nothing much has been going on, well because of that job, and that's sad, and that's why I haven't wrote an update in a week i guess. But everything will get back to normal once I tell my job of the "good" news.

Love is What Matters Most

This job thing kind of sucks. I mean, I feel good that I am finally contributing to our income, but I really miss being there for Master 24/7. He works nights, so I really miss being able to have dinner made for him before he heads off to work. My schedule varies, and a lot of the time I'm working around dinner times, or I may get off early one night, but he might be working. Or he may be off one night, but I'm stuck working a swing shift. That just sucks to me. But hopefully I might be able to go back to my old job later on and then we can have the same schedules again. I didn't like that job, but at least I'm guaranteed time with Master.
But anyways, since my punishment, things are going good for us. We are being more loving towards each other. Sometimes I think we can just get so caught up in whatever we are doing, that we forget who is right there beside us; our lover, our best friend. The person you would risk your life for. He is my everything, and I just hate when I have those times where I'm consumed by unimportant things and forget that the only thing that matters is that me and my husband have each other. He and I have the best times together when we remember that.

Bad Submissive

So I was very bad yesterday, I was acting up questioning everything Master told me to do, just not being a good submissive all around. So Finally Master had it, and told me to go get on the bed (that's where he spanks me). So at first, I started acting up, pleading with him that I didn't do anything. And well, you don't do that with J. He expects me to obey and go in the room. But no, I still kept on, and what does that mean in his book? That I will get spanked even harder. I just kept making it worse for my self. So stupid. So finally he got me to get up and walk down the hallway, but not without him having to guide me there, because I was being hesitant. I knew what was in store.
So I got on the bed, and still pleaded because although I had been acting up, I didn't think I was that bad to get the paddle, but Master said I was just making it worse, and that as his submissive I needed to except his punishment. I was wearing very thin pajama pants, and Master said he would go easy and let me keep my pants on, but that did not help at all! He took the paddle, and swatted me so hard on my right cheek, so hard I yelled out in pain. And then he swatted me on the left, and again, so much pain, and it brought tears! It left two little pink marks. That was the hardest he had ever spanked me with the paddle, and I do not anticipate it again. I was so upset after he spanked me, I told him to leave me alone afterwords. Master was proving to me that he is serious about this, and wont let those little things slide.

Happy

I am so happy and in love with my Master. He is doing so well at being my Dominant. Like earlier today I was being bratty, and Master took a very firm tone with me, and told me to stop and go sit down. I happily submitted, but asked him if I could help him with what he was doing instead of sitting, and he agreed and swatted me once as I left to help. Its amazing how simple things can be when I just submit to him. I love that, and I realize that it is me who determines this harmony. It is my decision to obey and submit to him, and submitting makes him happy. Submitting makes me happy. I just wish I could always remember this, and when I'm acting selfish, to stop and think about if I just do as he says, everything will be smooth. Our household will run how it is supposed to. Master is also being much more dominant about sex, and I am being more submissive. He is ALWAYS dominant when it comes to sex, but I am fully starting to be his slave and when he says he wants something, I do it with a "Yes, Master". This turns us on to no end, so it would make sense for me to just say "Yes Master", instead of saying, "How bout later?" We are both trying to put 100% equally into our DD marriage and I have to say, it is the best thing, and one thing I love is when Im in our office and he comes to check on me, and gives me a kiss on my head, to say he approves of what Im doing. It makes me feel like I am doing a good job as his submissive, and it makes me feel loved.

Updates

So I went to the doctor on Monday for my yearly and discussed getting off the pill. Everything is good to go, I just need to start taking prenatal vitamins. Master is very happy about that, and still wants me to get off of them after this pack is done. I think I am just going to get off of them for a few months and we will really start trying a few months after that. My doctor says I might not get pregnant for six months so I wonder if we should try sooner? Well it doesn't matter right at this minute. Also, today I got a call to come back for orientation for the job I applied for, so that's exciting!

Master and I have also been talking a lot, and he is going to be much more strict with me, and take a more commanding tone. He even started his own blog! I couldn't believe it. I think that will also help me behave, because I know that he will later blog about me if I have been bad or not. If any of you are interested, he is one of my followers, and is listed as Dominant J.

Some Unexpecting News

So last night, my husband and I went out with a friend, this is something we do every other week just about. We usually go out to dinner and see a movie with a couple friends. But last night ended unlike any other night had, and changed all of our lives, forever. This friend, has been one of our best friends for eight years, and last night, he came out and told us he was gay. It shocked us both, and I got so emotional and started crying and gave him the biggest hug! I cant imagine how it must have been killing him inside! Its so weird, because he is one of those guys you would never even have the slightest clue about it. After eight years I thought I knew my friend, and in one night, I'm shown I don't really know him at all... I'm very happy for him though, I hope he can finally be happy.

Talking About Our Future

I wish we didn't have to hide our lifestyle. I love it so much. I just wish people were more understanding. And no, nothing happened, Ive just been thinking about it. But anyways, Master tells me he finally wants me off the pill. I'm happy, but its also kind of scary. Ive been on it for five years. Just the thought of me becoming pregnant is great, but also scary at the same time. We want it to happen, but I always think, will I be ready for it if it happens? Well the fact is, if it happens, you have to become ready. We are ready financially and we are very responsible. And Master is just so great! He cant wait for me to carry his child. I think in the next year would be perfect. And when we do finally have our first child, we want to raise him/her in our HOH lifestyle. Where s/he knows that he is the HOH and everything must be approved by him. I want our child to grow up knowing s/he has two loving parents who work as a team. I would not call him Master in front of him/her, but I think you know what I'm talking about. A home with structure. I never had that, my parents got divorced when I was very young, and his parents always fought. I think that is why me and him are so determined to raise our child in this type of environment. I do remember though when my parents were together, my father did all of the punishments. He was in charge. I love my father, and believe me, he is the one I always make sure I have approval from. I would hate to ever let him down in any way. I was even nervous about telling him when I got engaged! How ridiculous is that? lol. But the point is, me and my husband want to create a great life together, and I can see that he and I make a great team. I love you Master, always and forever! <3

Finally Home

Well we finally got our Internet hooked up today. Man does not having Internet for a week make you feel lost lol. I feel so out of touch not being able to log onto here and read blogs and see whats going on with other subs. Its always encouraging. Me and Master are also starting to settle into our new home. It was very stressful trying to get our home ready and move and deal with our rental, and ....everything else. I'm just grateful that me and Master can spend some quality time with each other and get back on track with DD. I feel bad because he and I have gotten frustrated with each other and yelled at each other this past week. Like I said, it was stressful. But at the end of every little fight we would turn to each other, give a big hug and kiss and say sorry, because we know that we are a team, and we cant get things done solo. We need each other every step of the way no matter what it is we are doing. But we are very happy, things keep getting better for us, and I hope it stays this way. I even got a call today to go in for an interview tomorrow! I'm so excited! Ive been unemployed since the beginning of February and haven't even had one interview, so now I finally have a shot at getting a job. It wont be as much money as I would like to earn, but for now it will have to do until I go to school, and Master is more than fine with it because he makes a good amount of money. We would be fine just on his salary alone, but I have a car payment so basically that's what my job would be paying for and we love to have spending money, who doesn't? lol. So I just hope everything goes well, and I will definitely post what the verdict is when I find out.